Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Monday, October 06, 2008
1
Not hated
Is not the same as loved
Absence of war
Is seldom proof of peace
Proof of life
Is never proof of life
Alone
Isn't always lonely
Together
Is sometimes still not 1
Is not the same as loved
Absence of war
Is seldom proof of peace
Proof of life
Is never proof of life
Alone
Isn't always lonely
Together
Is sometimes still not 1
Thursday, September 04, 2008
Move On
Helpless regret
Hidden desire
Caught in the claws
Inevitable despair
Songs of then
Mystic aire
Tomorrow's forgotten
Today isn't there.
Hidden desire
Caught in the claws
Inevitable despair
Songs of then
Mystic aire
Tomorrow's forgotten
Today isn't there.
Friday, August 01, 2008
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Divine Chasm
You're inching closer,
It's floating away.
You're reaching out,
But it's not here to stay.
Just lookin' at it,
You sense completion.
But you have to touch it,
Coz' you have an emotion.
It shines on your face,
Calm, undoubting.
It shines so bright,
You fear its unfaltering.
It smiles within,
It knows you can't fathom.
Why you have to fall,
For that divine chasm.
It's floating away.
You're reaching out,
But it's not here to stay.
Just lookin' at it,
You sense completion.
But you have to touch it,
Coz' you have an emotion.
It shines on your face,
Calm, undoubting.
It shines so bright,
You fear its unfaltering.
It smiles within,
It knows you can't fathom.
Why you have to fall,
For that divine chasm.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Die
Struggle - Write - Score
Struggle - Speak - Score
Struggle - Answer - Score
Loop
Work - Smoke - Work - Smoke
Continue
Study - Listen - Espanyol
Eat - Pump - Narcissism
Trust - Cross Fingers - Invest
Meet - Eat - Laugh
Pray - Pray - Pray
Die
Struggle - Speak - Score
Struggle - Answer - Score
Loop
Work - Smoke - Work - Smoke
Continue
Study - Listen - Espanyol
Eat - Pump - Narcissism
Trust - Cross Fingers - Invest
Meet - Eat - Laugh
Pray - Pray - Pray
Die
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Need
Need a life
Need direction in life
Need meaning in direction
Need fulfillment in meaning
Need innocence in fulfillment
Need permanence in innocence
Need direction in life
Need meaning in direction
Need fulfillment in meaning
Need innocence in fulfillment
Need permanence in innocence
Thursday, June 19, 2008
First post from my e50
88:30
por 2 -3 ger
need some direction in life.
Watched Sarkar Raj - BIG letdown
por 2 -3 ger
need some direction in life.
Watched Sarkar Raj - BIG letdown
Friday, June 13, 2008
1:54 am
9 minutes to go Hol 3 : 1 Fra.
The dutch are making mincemeat of the french.
Love the exasperation on Henry's face.
Nistelrooy almost made it 4:1.
The carrot still dangles.
I'm almost feeling sorry for France
Ribery just went over the bar.
Think I'm undergoing a change.
Realising that no man's an island.
France just got buried alive.
4:1 in stoppage time.
The dutch are making mincemeat of the french.
Love the exasperation on Henry's face.
Nistelrooy almost made it 4:1.
The carrot still dangles.
I'm almost feeling sorry for France
Ribery just went over the bar.
Think I'm undergoing a change.
Realising that no man's an island.
France just got buried alive.
4:1 in stoppage time.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Smellisions
Just got INSPIRED all over again - Amazing what a ROCKY movie can do to you!
People have visions of the past; I'm having what I like to call smellisions
Lotta smells coming back to me..
-Cheap photocopies of engineering notes
-The old Sherlok Holmes' books I once had
-The last leather shoes I bought
-The cards an ex flame gave me
-Mummy's dal-chawal (been 5 years)
-Brand new tugite cricket balls
-New notebooks for the new school year
-Ammonia from the chem lab (yuckk)
-Ammonia from the school toilet (double yuckk)
-The strawberry deo a girl in my junior college had a fetish of wearing
-The first cigarette (yeah I STILL remember that. It was a panama)
Ok, thats all about the smells.
I got a looong vacation coming - complete next week off from work - finally SOME rest.
Going to matheran on a trek this sunday.
IF I wake up on time.
Passed my spanish diploma exam.
Taken a break from the language - will resume classes in mid July.
Things very bright professionally.
Albeit the work gets to my head very often.
Time flies.
But six years is a long time. Isn't it?
Waiting for-
The Happening
The Dark Knight
Righteous Kill
Get Smart
And Mimoh's next
Should spend lesser time at work.
I think.
People have visions of the past; I'm having what I like to call smellisions
Lotta smells coming back to me..
-Cheap photocopies of engineering notes
-The old Sherlok Holmes' books I once had
-The last leather shoes I bought
-The cards an ex flame gave me
-Mummy's dal-chawal (been 5 years)
-Brand new tugite cricket balls
-New notebooks for the new school year
-Ammonia from the chem lab (yuckk)
-Ammonia from the school toilet (double yuckk)
-The strawberry deo a girl in my junior college had a fetish of wearing
-The first cigarette (yeah I STILL remember that. It was a panama)
Ok, thats all about the smells.
I got a looong vacation coming - complete next week off from work - finally SOME rest.
Going to matheran on a trek this sunday.
IF I wake up on time.
Passed my spanish diploma exam.
Taken a break from the language - will resume classes in mid July.
Things very bright professionally.
Albeit the work gets to my head very often.
Time flies.
But six years is a long time. Isn't it?
Waiting for-
The Happening
The Dark Knight
Righteous Kill
Get Smart
And Mimoh's next
Should spend lesser time at work.
I think.
Monday, June 02, 2008
Monday, May 26, 2008
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Hola
Took my 'Diploma Inincial' exam a couple of weeks ago - scored well.
Am in spanish level 4 now.
Working too much.
Working-out too less.
It's time for a new phone.
Or maybe to return to an old one?
Missed Iron-Man.
Quite an irony - waited a hell of a lot for it to come on.
Bombay is hotter than ever.
Winter was obscenely cold too.
Will the rains lash us just as bad?
Low work-out frequency has been offset.
Mostly by a diet - controlled Nazi style.
Waiting for 'Righteous Kill'
DeNiro and Pacino together in it - only for the 3rd time.
Release time Nov 08 - I think.
Probably go for the e51.
Or maybe back to the e50.
Time for lunch.
And a smoke after.
Am in spanish level 4 now.
Working too much.
Working-out too less.
It's time for a new phone.
Or maybe to return to an old one?
Missed Iron-Man.
Quite an irony - waited a hell of a lot for it to come on.
Bombay is hotter than ever.
Winter was obscenely cold too.
Will the rains lash us just as bad?
Low work-out frequency has been offset.
Mostly by a diet - controlled Nazi style.
Waiting for 'Righteous Kill'
DeNiro and Pacino together in it - only for the 3rd time.
Release time Nov 08 - I think.
Probably go for the e51.
Or maybe back to the e50.
Time for lunch.
And a smoke after.
Thursday, May 08, 2008
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Bastante
Cannot stress this enough to anyone and everyone who ends up reading this space -
Don't mourn death, celebrate life.
Spanish mid-terms were good.
Did well in the writing, the listening needs a hell of a lot of improvement.
I've been consuming myself at work.
Time I looked elsewhere?
I don't know.
Where's test cricket gone?
I LOVE watching the '92 world cup reruns - more cricket, less jhatang.
Have returned to weightlifting with ALL that I have.
Feels good to lift. It's almost ethereal...surreal...cathartic.
Read this sometime ago -
Experience is a tough teacher. It tests first and teaches later.
Don't mourn death, celebrate life.
Spanish mid-terms were good.
Did well in the writing, the listening needs a hell of a lot of improvement.
I've been consuming myself at work.
Time I looked elsewhere?
I don't know.
Where's test cricket gone?
I LOVE watching the '92 world cup reruns - more cricket, less jhatang.
Have returned to weightlifting with ALL that I have.
Feels good to lift. It's almost ethereal...surreal...cathartic.
Read this sometime ago -
Experience is a tough teacher. It tests first and teaches later.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
The Weekend
Spanish mid-terms were good.
Fue mejor que habia esperado. Ahora pienso sin duda que mejorare tarde o temprano :)
Krazzy 4 was a huge disappointment. Spoilt an otherwise good weekend.
I have about a week to decide whether I'm gonna munch on the carrot or not.
Will I?
I have no idea.
Had a haircut.
Finally :)
Will be in Delhi on 23rd May to take the DELE
Remembering mummy. A lot.
Fue mejor que habia esperado. Ahora pienso sin duda que mejorare tarde o temprano :)
Krazzy 4 was a huge disappointment. Spoilt an otherwise good weekend.
I have about a week to decide whether I'm gonna munch on the carrot or not.
Will I?
I have no idea.
Had a haircut.
Finally :)
Will be in Delhi on 23rd May to take the DELE
Remembering mummy. A lot.
Friday, April 11, 2008
Another day another post
Been wondering a lot over the past few days.
Maybe it's only a coincidence, but a lot of people have been dying recently.
A friends grandfather.
An aunt I never saw.
A colleagues father.
My own mummy died 4 and something years ago.
(It was tough, the doctor gave her 6 months. She left us in less than 4).
But all that is besides the point.
I've always considered death as just another part of life.
Maybe it's the way I was brought up - in Islam death is an essential part of life.
("Kullu nafsin zaikatul maut" - Every living being will taste death)
-The Quran, sura Al Imran
Looking at people feeling helpless over a near ones death.
Sobbing uncontrollably.
Getting depressed.
Hitherto I considered all this really abnormal.
But I've seen this happen so many times, I'm beginning to think that I am far away from normal.
That I'm a little too controlled. I little too secure.
But not a cold man you know, I cry too.
Looking back, I've always been this way.
Maybe that's why I've never had a relationship, nor a passionate hatred of anything or anyone.
I love everyone. Equally. Hard as that may be to imagine.
I expect very less, from very few.
This is what I am.
For those I care about
Don't expect me to mourn your death when you die. I'd rather celebrate your life.
But you will be missed. All. Sorely.
Maybe it's only a coincidence, but a lot of people have been dying recently.
A friends grandfather.
An aunt I never saw.
A colleagues father.
My own mummy died 4 and something years ago.
(It was tough, the doctor gave her 6 months. She left us in less than 4).
But all that is besides the point.
I've always considered death as just another part of life.
Maybe it's the way I was brought up - in Islam death is an essential part of life.
("Kullu nafsin zaikatul maut" - Every living being will taste death)
-The Quran, sura Al Imran
Looking at people feeling helpless over a near ones death.
Sobbing uncontrollably.
Getting depressed.
Hitherto I considered all this really abnormal.
But I've seen this happen so many times, I'm beginning to think that I am far away from normal.
That I'm a little too controlled. I little too secure.
But not a cold man you know, I cry too.
Looking back, I've always been this way.
Maybe that's why I've never had a relationship, nor a passionate hatred of anything or anyone.
I love everyone. Equally. Hard as that may be to imagine.
I expect very less, from very few.
This is what I am.
For those I care about
Don't expect me to mourn your death when you die. I'd rather celebrate your life.
But you will be missed. All. Sorely.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Internet Security
What would Quentin Tarantino call himself if he were an Internet Security guy?
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Quentin Quarantino!
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Quentin Quarantino!
Lesson
Something I've realised bigtime in the past few days at work - If you gotta lead a happy life, have success, contentment, basically the works,
I remember reading something on those lines in Vernon God Little, a book that The Neverknown strongly and rightly recommended.
P.S. - Congratulations Neverknown, on anniversary# 2.
you need to let people have what they want
I remember reading something on those lines in Vernon God Little, a book that The Neverknown strongly and rightly recommended.
P.S. - Congratulations Neverknown, on anniversary# 2.
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
Good News Bad News
The Good news
The MRI says my spine's fine
The doc even said my spine is 'unusually' healthy (Can I put that on my resume?)
The Bad news
Can't jog, do weighted squats - weighted lunges - calve raises - weighted lower back excercises for SIX WHOLE MONTHS
It's a cruel cruel world
I was just thinking in the afternoon about the time when there was a day and night cricket match going on and the lights in the stadium went off.
Wondered when such a thing would happen next.
It happened about 6 hours later at the Gaddafi stadium - Pak v Bangladesh
The carrot may not be a carrot after all.
There's a very good chance of it coming to life and me munching on it.
But that would mean atleast 16 more months in the same project.
That would roughly add up to 4.5 years.
Whoever said variety is the spice of life!
Basically, my heart isn't in it anymore.
But I'd be a fool, an utter imbecile, to let this go.
And, did I mention that the carrot would last 12 months? Atleast.
Mortals with slow net connections in Mumbai would do good to try out 'You Connect'.
For those who don't want to, go download DAP.
You can predict what's going on in a Hindi news channel any time of the day -
1 - A special on their latest obsession: The Great Khali
2 - Bashing Indian batsmen for meekly surrendering (The probablity of this happening every 1 test match out of 5 is very high)
I remember watching this - 'Chennai ke sher huay Motera mein dher'
3 - Pensively covering Amitabh Bachchans fever, backache, bad motions - you name it!
Got a new cell phone (Yes, Again).
This time it's the Nokia 6233.
We all have fetishes, am I not allowed one too?
The MRI says my spine's fine
The doc even said my spine is 'unusually' healthy (Can I put that on my resume?)
The Bad news
Can't jog, do weighted squats - weighted lunges - calve raises - weighted lower back excercises for SIX WHOLE MONTHS
It's a cruel cruel world
I was just thinking in the afternoon about the time when there was a day and night cricket match going on and the lights in the stadium went off.
Wondered when such a thing would happen next.
It happened about 6 hours later at the Gaddafi stadium - Pak v Bangladesh
The carrot may not be a carrot after all.
There's a very good chance of it coming to life and me munching on it.
But that would mean atleast 16 more months in the same project.
That would roughly add up to 4.5 years.
Whoever said variety is the spice of life!
Basically, my heart isn't in it anymore.
But I'd be a fool, an utter imbecile, to let this go.
And, did I mention that the carrot would last 12 months? Atleast.
Mortals with slow net connections in Mumbai would do good to try out 'You Connect'.
For those who don't want to, go download DAP.
You can predict what's going on in a Hindi news channel any time of the day -
1 - A special on their latest obsession: The Great Khali
2 - Bashing Indian batsmen for meekly surrendering (The probablity of this happening every 1 test match out of 5 is very high)
I remember watching this - 'Chennai ke sher huay Motera mein dher'
3 - Pensively covering Amitabh Bachchans fever, backache, bad motions - you name it!
Got a new cell phone (Yes, Again).
This time it's the Nokia 6233.
We all have fetishes, am I not allowed one too?
Sunday, April 06, 2008
The Holy Qur'an (Surah 2 - Al Baqarah THE HEIFER)
002.043 And be steadfast in prayer; practise regular charity; and bow down your heads with those who bow down (in worship).
So I finally have the time to blog
It's not like the world is flocking to see this space, and that weeks without an update is an internationl catastrophe, but hey - I'm Back!
Where do I start?
Yep, I think unconnected sentences with neither wisdom nor reason is the way to go. As always...
ICL is rather fun - much better than I expected. Lance Klusener's playing - I'd kill my boss to watch him play.
Ok, I admit it - I'd kill my boss for free any day of the week.
Work is getting stressful by the day. Need a BREAK. Need to stop putting in extra hours. Need to get a life.
Don't you hate it when the carrot is dangled?
Spanish is nowhere near as intense as it should be.
Majorly coz of work squeezing the juice out of me.
Hurt by lower back a few months ago in the gym.
What do you expect when you do a 40kg ssquat?
(Ok, I am bragging about my squat. But my back is majorly screwed.)
A little bit of vanity is allowed. Right?
Had an MRI done yesterday.
Couldn't go in head first. Damn claustrophobia!
So they put me in leg first and had me stick my had out of the machine, which the nurse held.
That was probably the first real human contact I've had in weeks.
Have my spanish mid-terms next week.
Thought about deleting this blog. I'm not gonna.
Will probably start bloggin in spanish.
Once a smoker, always a smoker?
I think so.
"The greatest trick the devil ever played, was convincing the world he didn't exist".
-Verbal Kint
Where do I start?
Yep, I think unconnected sentences with neither wisdom nor reason is the way to go. As always...
ICL is rather fun - much better than I expected. Lance Klusener's playing - I'd kill my boss to watch him play.
Ok, I admit it - I'd kill my boss for free any day of the week.
Work is getting stressful by the day. Need a BREAK. Need to stop putting in extra hours. Need to get a life.
Don't you hate it when the carrot is dangled?
Spanish is nowhere near as intense as it should be.
Majorly coz of work squeezing the juice out of me.
Hurt by lower back a few months ago in the gym.
What do you expect when you do a 40kg ssquat?
(Ok, I am bragging about my squat. But my back is majorly screwed.)
A little bit of vanity is allowed. Right?
Had an MRI done yesterday.
Couldn't go in head first. Damn claustrophobia!
So they put me in leg first and had me stick my had out of the machine, which the nurse held.
That was probably the first real human contact I've had in weeks.
Have my spanish mid-terms next week.
Thought about deleting this blog. I'm not gonna.
Will probably start bloggin in spanish.
Once a smoker, always a smoker?
I think so.
"The greatest trick the devil ever played, was convincing the world he didn't exist".
-Verbal Kint
Thursday, February 07, 2008
Lately
Jiske sar par uparwale ka haath ho usko ungli nahin karte. -JG
Muhn ki baat sune har koyi,
Dil ka dard jaane kaun?
Awaazon ke bazaaron mein,
Khamoshi pahchaane kaun? -Ghaalib (I think)
Is Hercule Poirot better than Sherlock holmes?
Where's a listening ear when you need one?
At crossroads-
1- Bored with work... or should I say - indifferent
2- Work's the same everywhere
3- Losing motivation
4- Heading nowhere
5- Don't want to leave the company
6- I'm not getting released from this project (where's Superman when you need him)
Workouts are plain super. Maybe it's the bottled up energy.
Spanish level 3 starts this weekend - Game's over. Need to take it up real seriously now!
Birthdays -
Some remember, some forget
Some sincere, some shallow
Ever had a lot say, but not known what to?
Muhn ki baat sune har koyi,
Dil ka dard jaane kaun?
Awaazon ke bazaaron mein,
Khamoshi pahchaane kaun? -Ghaalib (I think)
Is Hercule Poirot better than Sherlock holmes?
Where's a listening ear when you need one?
At crossroads-
1- Bored with work... or should I say - indifferent
2- Work's the same everywhere
3- Losing motivation
4- Heading nowhere
5- Don't want to leave the company
6- I'm not getting released from this project (where's Superman when you need him)
Workouts are plain super. Maybe it's the bottled up energy.
Spanish level 3 starts this weekend - Game's over. Need to take it up real seriously now!
Birthdays -
Some remember, some forget
Some sincere, some shallow
Ever had a lot say, but not known what to?
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Picture this
Picture this
You're sitting inside a cramped rickshaw in the middle of a traffic jam at just a little past noon.
The traffic isn't really making it easier to listen to whatever cacophony is blaring out of your earphones in the name of music.
A car come up alongside you with a mother and her 2, or maybe 3 year old daughter. The girl somehow senses that you're a complete goofbag and deserve to be in this traffic in the sweltering heat.
After this prophetic realization and a not so complex calculation to decide what to do next, she sticks out her tongue and makes a face out you.
And what do I do? Like any self-respecting bearer of the never-to-be-found male self respect, I put off the music, give the girl the peoples' eyebrow, and .......... stick my own tongue out to her.
That should teach her!
You're sitting inside a cramped rickshaw in the middle of a traffic jam at just a little past noon.
The traffic isn't really making it easier to listen to whatever cacophony is blaring out of your earphones in the name of music.
A car come up alongside you with a mother and her 2, or maybe 3 year old daughter. The girl somehow senses that you're a complete goofbag and deserve to be in this traffic in the sweltering heat.
After this prophetic realization and a not so complex calculation to decide what to do next, she sticks out her tongue and makes a face out you.
And what do I do? Like any self-respecting bearer of the never-to-be-found male self respect, I put off the music, give the girl the peoples' eyebrow, and .......... stick my own tongue out to her.
That should teach her!
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Little things bring great joys
Like when your music player is on shuffle and beats out one favourite track after another without you having to skip anything.
Monday, January 14, 2008
Ever
Ever get that feeling that no matter what you do, you're still the same?
No matter how much you run, you're yet to move - yet to make progress?
A lot like athletes; at the end of it all, they're just running around in circles.
A lot's happening; even more isn't.
What is it that I need, what is it that I want, what is it that I have, what is it that I shouldn't get, what is it that I should, what is it that I deserve, what is it that I don't, what is it that's gonna make my smile like sunshine, why am I ranting?
No matter how much you run, you're yet to move - yet to make progress?
A lot like athletes; at the end of it all, they're just running around in circles.
A lot's happening; even more isn't.
What is it that I need, what is it that I want, what is it that I have, what is it that I shouldn't get, what is it that I should, what is it that I deserve, what is it that I don't, what is it that's gonna make my smile like sunshine, why am I ranting?
On the pill
Didn't go to office today - my lower back pain has become a little worse to say the least.
Got a couple of pills, but the worst thing that has transpired from all this is that I've been told in no mean terms by the doc to NOT do weights for a month to 6 weeks. DAMN!
Maybe I'll use this time to jog more so I can fit into my old trousers again.
While I was at it, I also got myself anti-smoking pills prescribed. Let's see how it goes.
Got a couple of pills, but the worst thing that has transpired from all this is that I've been told in no mean terms by the doc to NOT do weights for a month to 6 weeks. DAMN!
Maybe I'll use this time to jog more so I can fit into my old trousers again.
While I was at it, I also got myself anti-smoking pills prescribed. Let's see how it goes.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Sunday
Inertia sets upon me on weekends.
Need to break out of it.
I'm 10 times as lazy on weekends as I am fierce on work days.
Maybe it's the law of averages.
Maybe it's me.
Maybe it's Maybelline (hehe! classic!)
Lower back inflammation :(
Can't sit for more 10 minutes without that paralyzing pain.
Weight training will have to stop
Cardio begins NOW!
Own The Simpsons Movie (finally).
Why was Sideshow Bob not in it ?!
They better make a sequel now and have him in the central plot. Grrrrrr!
Six months.
That's what I'm giving myself.
Need to grow by an inch - Biceps
By a couple of inches - Chest, back and quads
Must go in an inch - Waist.
Need to break out of it.
I'm 10 times as lazy on weekends as I am fierce on work days.
Maybe it's the law of averages.
Maybe it's me.
Maybe it's Maybelline (hehe! classic!)
Lower back inflammation :(
Can't sit for more 10 minutes without that paralyzing pain.
Weight training will have to stop
Cardio begins NOW!
Own The Simpsons Movie (finally).
Why was Sideshow Bob not in it ?!
They better make a sequel now and have him in the central plot. Grrrrrr!
Six months.
That's what I'm giving myself.
Need to grow by an inch - Biceps
By a couple of inches - Chest, back and quads
Must go in an inch - Waist.
Friday, January 11, 2008
Notes to self
It feels great to let it rip.
Work has never been that stressful, but has never been that much fun either. I think it's a good bargain.
Absolute Fun: Sitting cross-legged on the floor of a train compartment at 12:40 am at 13Celcius.
Thinking can be a real waste of time - considering that you can't change most things happening around you.
I think this blog will now be named www.notestoself.blogspot.com, or something on those lines.
Work has never been that stressful, but has never been that much fun either. I think it's a good bargain.
Absolute Fun: Sitting cross-legged on the floor of a train compartment at 12:40 am at 13Celcius.
Thinking can be a real waste of time - considering that you can't change most things happening around you.
I think this blog will now be named www.notestoself.blogspot.com, or something on those lines.
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Notes to Self
Shut up and squat
Learn how to ride a motorbike (yeah I still don't know how it's done .. laugh on)
Quit smoking (yeah I unquit again)
Work lesser
Spare more time for self
Stop planning, you've never been good at it anyway
Don zakhmi hai lekin Don Don hai
Ease up a little, there're more people in this world in worse shit than you know
Keep the investments going
Work on your deadlift
Learn how to ride a motorbike (yeah I still don't know how it's done .. laugh on)
Quit smoking (yeah I unquit again)
Work lesser
Spare more time for self
Stop planning, you've never been good at it anyway
Don zakhmi hai lekin Don Don hai
Ease up a little, there're more people in this world in worse shit than you know
Keep the investments going
Work on your deadlift
Saturday, January 05, 2008
People
There's pushing and shoving everywhere.
In trains, in buses, on bridges, in little lanes, in markets, in elevators, just about everywhere.
Suddenly there seem to be too many people around.
Public holidays are eagerly awaited so that I can enjoy a nonchalant walk along hill road without having to flex and turn my torso in Godless ways to avoid contact with people seemingly so eager to bump into me while on their way in the opposite direction.
Need to migrate to a place that has lesser people.
In trains, in buses, on bridges, in little lanes, in markets, in elevators, just about everywhere.
Suddenly there seem to be too many people around.
Public holidays are eagerly awaited so that I can enjoy a nonchalant walk along hill road without having to flex and turn my torso in Godless ways to avoid contact with people seemingly so eager to bump into me while on their way in the opposite direction.
Need to migrate to a place that has lesser people.
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
V for Vendetta
Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant and vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition! The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.
– V's introduction to Evey
– V's introduction to Evey
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
Indifferent
I have no idea on how to start this one. The past few months have been a revelation of sorts, although I am a little ambivalent about whatever's happened.
First of' things are looking good professionally (although I must admit that they never looked bad in the first place). Got made the module lead, and that's made me perform better, feel more comfortable and miss 'The Office' at 9pm thursdays on Star World. The office is making me miss 'The Office'. Wow.
Completed the first level certification of Spanish (Certificado Basico). Yeaaa! A picture of the certificate will soon find its way out here. Have the second level exam this sunday, and by a conservative estimate, i'm more than likely to screw it up. Uh oh. Insha Allah, i'll find time to study and all will be well.
Have managed to control my diet and i'm starting to fit into my old trousers again.
The visits to the gym are more frequent and that much more focussed.
May the rest of mankind covet my physique (some day)!
If there is something I'd like to see change, it's me Goddamn indifference about things. I must learn to care more often. About people, and myself. Maybe it's the result of a lot of botteling (is the spelling correct?) up that's been taking place inside me since I don't know when. But it's got to change. It is changing, but a tad too slow for my liking. Am I developing an alter ego? One that knows that something in me needs a change but never actually facilitates the change, knowing that if things do turn around, it will be forgotten? Talk about an alter ego having an ego!
While we're talking about change, I shaved my beard for the first time in more than a couple of years, and plan on having longer locks and maybe even streaking them white. Ahem. BTW, i'm looking 23 again now that the beard's gone.
It somehow seems to me that I've not valued a lot of the good stuff that life has offered me (Is the grammar correct). See... even now I'm concentrating more on the grammar than on what I have to say. Or maybe, life's leaving me behind ... to work long hours in the office, to blow out nicotine-filled smoke from my mouth, to blog incoherent thoughts (?) I need to reach out to people, be more accessible, less caught up within my own affairs, just be ... more. But maybe I need to reach into myself first, and take out that shred of chicken stuck between my teeth. (The veils are always drawn, even on the blog. Sigh.)
Maybe I'm one of those people that has to be discovered. Maybe I'm a no show on my own and need another compound to enable a chemical reaction.
A retrospection tells me that I really never had a personality in the past. Or rather I tried so hard to fit in that I just lost the notes that told me who I was un the first place. And the paradox about it is that when you've finally begun to fit in - POOOF! there's an entirely new set of people around you and you have to fit in all over again. Much more tiresome than it sounds.
The lack of a personal definition, the lack of a coherent knowledge about what you are isn't really that bad. It lets you observe - without prejudice, without dogma, without interest (!). Not that someday I'll be presented with a Nobel Award for Observation; just that's it's very satisfying to recognize that you have that ability of being able to relate to people and understand them without having your thought processes compromised by your own definitions of good bad ugly right wrong bingo wheeee woopeee sob grrrr etc etc. Wonderful! I say. Just wheeeeeee! (Oops! That's my definition of wheeeeee!)
Another thing that's been hogging me for a long time is the fact that people tend to replace their failures. I know of a (now) diligently religious girl and have this stinging feeling that she is so now because a lot of stuff that's gone wrong in her life. Now it's not bad being religious you know, but replacement just doesn't work. When you do something, embrace something, it rather be because you love it and want it more than anything else. Don't replace a sour relationship with cannabies .. a lost promotion with bench presses. And...i'm not really sure God likes playing second fiddle.
The structures that make up your life would be better off mutually exclusive than anything else. (This reminds me of Set Theory - grrr followed by a sob).
P.S. - I think the blog name needs a change. Any suggestions?
Many thanks to The Neverknown for reminding me that I blog.
Mummy(RIP) I love you.
First of' things are looking good professionally (although I must admit that they never looked bad in the first place). Got made the module lead, and that's made me perform better, feel more comfortable and miss 'The Office' at 9pm thursdays on Star World. The office is making me miss 'The Office'. Wow.
Completed the first level certification of Spanish (Certificado Basico). Yeaaa! A picture of the certificate will soon find its way out here. Have the second level exam this sunday, and by a conservative estimate, i'm more than likely to screw it up. Uh oh. Insha Allah, i'll find time to study and all will be well.
Have managed to control my diet and i'm starting to fit into my old trousers again.
The visits to the gym are more frequent and that much more focussed.
May the rest of mankind covet my physique (some day)!
If there is something I'd like to see change, it's me Goddamn indifference about things. I must learn to care more often. About people, and myself. Maybe it's the result of a lot of botteling (is the spelling correct?) up that's been taking place inside me since I don't know when. But it's got to change. It is changing, but a tad too slow for my liking. Am I developing an alter ego? One that knows that something in me needs a change but never actually facilitates the change, knowing that if things do turn around, it will be forgotten? Talk about an alter ego having an ego!
While we're talking about change, I shaved my beard for the first time in more than a couple of years, and plan on having longer locks and maybe even streaking them white. Ahem. BTW, i'm looking 23 again now that the beard's gone.
It somehow seems to me that I've not valued a lot of the good stuff that life has offered me (Is the grammar correct). See... even now I'm concentrating more on the grammar than on what I have to say. Or maybe, life's leaving me behind ... to work long hours in the office, to blow out nicotine-filled smoke from my mouth, to blog incoherent thoughts (?) I need to reach out to people, be more accessible, less caught up within my own affairs, just be ... more. But maybe I need to reach into myself first, and take out that shred of chicken stuck between my teeth. (The veils are always drawn, even on the blog. Sigh.)
Maybe I'm one of those people that has to be discovered. Maybe I'm a no show on my own and need another compound to enable a chemical reaction.
A retrospection tells me that I really never had a personality in the past. Or rather I tried so hard to fit in that I just lost the notes that told me who I was un the first place. And the paradox about it is that when you've finally begun to fit in - POOOF! there's an entirely new set of people around you and you have to fit in all over again. Much more tiresome than it sounds.
The lack of a personal definition, the lack of a coherent knowledge about what you are isn't really that bad. It lets you observe - without prejudice, without dogma, without interest (!). Not that someday I'll be presented with a Nobel Award for Observation; just that's it's very satisfying to recognize that you have that ability of being able to relate to people and understand them without having your thought processes compromised by your own definitions of good bad ugly right wrong bingo wheeee woopeee sob grrrr etc etc. Wonderful! I say. Just wheeeeeee! (Oops! That's my definition of wheeeeee!)
Another thing that's been hogging me for a long time is the fact that people tend to replace their failures. I know of a (now) diligently religious girl and have this stinging feeling that she is so now because a lot of stuff that's gone wrong in her life. Now it's not bad being religious you know, but replacement just doesn't work. When you do something, embrace something, it rather be because you love it and want it more than anything else. Don't replace a sour relationship with cannabies .. a lost promotion with bench presses. And...i'm not really sure God likes playing second fiddle.
The structures that make up your life would be better off mutually exclusive than anything else. (This reminds me of Set Theory - grrr followed by a sob).
P.S. - I think the blog name needs a change. Any suggestions?
Many thanks to The Neverknown for reminding me that I blog.
Mummy(RIP) I love you.
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