Software companies have a particularly disgusting habit. They build up a visa interview as if it were the be all and end all of your life. 'Comb your hair, have a clean shave, wear a tie, wear a white shirt, brush your teeth well, polish your shoes and while you're at it, get a nose job done'. The way I look at it, a visa interview is Gods way of giving it back to the Indian male, for the countless hours of preparation that a prospective bride has to go through to prove herself worthy of being his wife. But thats not the point of this post.
Lets cut back to the interview build up. One day prior to the interview I had to appear for a briefing session at our corporate office at Akruti. I had to be there at 10 am, which was always going to be difficult considering I had worked till 3 am. Simple math said i had barely 5 hours of sleep to spare. Since I'm finally getting my visa done, i assumed that every star in the universe is shooting to get my job done; I wake up at 9:00 am, quite confident that i'm going to make it on time. But baseless confidence has always been my nemesis. To cut a long story short, it took 50 minutes for my rickshaw to reach Akruti from Andheri station. A distance I remember covering within 20 not so many years ago.
Note to Self - Bombay is getting too crowded. Need to migrate to another city, or maybe another country.
I am the last person to reach the session. Accusing eyes stare a hole through me. (Gimme a break guys, I'm working nights these days!)
The lady in charge of the briefing session instantly reminds me of the queens guards you see outside the Buckingham palace. She betrays no emotion and has a sense of purpose about her. For the next hour she would dazzle us with all the possible questions we could be asked at the interview. She's learnt the questions and the least offensive answers to them so well that I'm convinced she should be given an honorary visa herself. She isn't the normal HR types that we encounter in the IT industry - she's polite. Relatively.
I suddenly have a flash! Yes, when I should be listening intently to what I should or should not answer at the interview, I'm getting flashes. Could the timing BE any better? But a flash is a flash and must be flashed -
Why are HR employees so dragon-like? Always willing to spew venom on your face for something as innocent as not attending a fun at work session? It's not that tough to figure out. HR associates are more often than not Arts grads. As students, most of these Art-walahs feel a sense of self-accomplishment, a sense of triumph of having resisted the temptation to join the band-wagon of science grads. They think they can change the world with their ideas (a few do). Those who don't, end up as HR execs filling visa applications for the very science students they so despised. Disillusionment.
Not a very bright flash. But a flash nonetheless.
During the briefing, I get the distinctly uncomfortable sense that I am a part of a filthy rat race that's never going to end. I toggle with the idea of professional suicide by giving the visa interview a miss. But better sense prevails and I decide that I need to be a rat for some more time. Some more years perhaps.
At the end of the briefing we are wished the customary 'Best of Lucks' with the fine print reading - don't blame us if you flunk the interview.
'Best of Luck'? You can't go through so much preparation and at the end of it all leave things to luck. 'You bloody well clear the interview', I tell myself.
On the way back I can't help but reflect on the past month. Things are happening at a breakneck pace and I'm tiring. I take refuge once again in a stick of Milds, that for so many years has been my uncomplaining shrink...
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